Recent Events

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Recent Events

Return of Giggles-At-Crimes

In 2525, Giggles-At-Crimes made a horrific return, launching a surprise attack on Quadrant Three and the Starlight Sector. In the first hours of the conflict, three stations fell to his Honkbeasts, while another six were under siege, including Central Command itself. Dozens of shuttles full of Spaygo Berserkers in ancient Clown Battlesuits stormed the stations, cutting down crewmembers and security alike with RGB Energy Swords. After several hours of brutal fighting, most stations were secure enough for Central Command to deploy multiple remote Gamma Armories out of Bluespace, winning the first battles of the conflict soundly. Even though NanoTrasen and Central Command attained victory, several stations were completely lost, while others were majorly damaged and put out of use for the time being. Clown Anomalies, spreading horrid meaty clown creatures, consumed large swaths of Core and Oasis, requiring heavy CBURN responses to cleanse. Box even briefly armed its own Nuclear Warhead, before the situation was brought back under control and the nuclear device was deemed unneeded.

Despite the heavy fighting, and what could mostly be considered a victory by NanoTrasen, Central Command, and the Trans-Solar Federation as a whole, the situation left everyone uneasy and on edge. Sifting through the mounds of dead Clowns, it became clear that Giggles-At-Crimes was still missing, plotting somewhere in the dark recesses of the universe.

The Nuclear Commander

Later that year Euukho Zek'huil, who had been believed to have been killed during the Pod Wars was found flying through TSF space. Following a brief pursuit his ship, a 25th century GM-01 War Hawk, FTLed using Red Space into a Starboard model NanoTrasen Station. The crash resulted in mass destruction to the Station's Science Department, the destruction of the G01-WarHawk and a broken leg for Euukho. The station's crew was able to delay Euukho until the arrival of NanoTrasen Special Forces, who captured Euukho after a failed attempt to commandeer their shuttle.

Euukho was transported to a Central Command outpost. However, the outpost was assaulted by a criminal entity in a suicidal rescue mission and Euukho was able to escape.

The Honkmother Rises

In January of 2526, chaos unfolded on Oasis Station. The Feast of Fools, a nearly universal clown holiday celebrated by most sects of the Faith of the Honkmother and known for excessive noise, extreme lubrication events, and law enforcement resignations, occurred on January 10th. On this comically sacred day, the Honkmother is rumored to appear and select a single individual to whisper the funniest joke ever told. On that day, the Honkmother made her first appearance in the Starlight sector. Her arrival on Oasis Station was met with doctrinal celebration and operational concern in nearly equal measure. Desperate command members faxed for assistance from Central Command. However, as fate would have it, their employers had already received hundreds of such letters claiming the Honkmother had risen- as such reports are a common prank among clowns able to procure the appropriate stamp on their day of merriment. Thus their requests were rejected.

Festivities continued in the center of Oasis. The crew told the Honkmother jokes and engaged in a traditional slipping competition. However, this provided a distraction for a shuttle of clown cultists, followers of Giggles-at-Crime, to infiltrate the station. They began to perform dark rituals in the maintenance corridors, to ‘empower’ the Honkmother. Security logs would later note that response time was delayed due to ‘ongoing holy slipping. Slowly, the Honkmother’s mirth and benevolence left, only to be replaced by spite and maliciousness. By the time security found the cultists, it was too late. The Honkmother transformed; her red hair faded, her smile turned to a smirk, and most shockingly her own abdomen tore into a gaping maw from which only mean-spirited jokes and vicious mockery were uttered. Following this incident, this entity has come to be known as the Jonkmother. She incited dangerous pranks, slips turned into falls and slapstick twisted into knife fights. Clown anomalies formed, and during the ensuing panic, the cultists continued their work, erecting more ritual sites. Ironically, an anomaly manifested within the Jonkmother herself. When she went critical, clown kudzu and behonkers exploded from within. Through valiant efforts, the crew fought against overwhelming odds, against the cultists, and even some of their own. They destroyed the ritual sites, banished the clown kudzu, and evaded one behonker that had somehow become invisible in what was later called “the worst game of hide and seek”. The crew’s efforts restored the Honkmother to her true form. She assisted the station with their wounded, and blessed one crew member whom she’d deemed to have the best joke, with the funniest joke of all.

However, Giggles-at-Crime had proven himself and his followers, consequently named the Jonkists, to be more dangerous than ever imagined. Unlike followers of Narsie or Ratvar, they had succeeded not only in finding their own God, but also in corrupting her beyond recognition. Their motivations remained unknown, as did their whereabouts.


For events taking place before the server opened, refer to the History page.



Attributions: Events written and run by the Event Team, such as by Conflee and Karmakitsuna.